You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
