I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
