guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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