can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
