LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We're too hungover to prance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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