I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
