why didn't you poke me back
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
