I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
