Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
