Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
