i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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