Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Less talking, more tequila
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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