You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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