Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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