onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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