what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
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