It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize