Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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