i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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