Is it normal to miss your booty call?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize