someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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