So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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