wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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