i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
