so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
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I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
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Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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