im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
