That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
