I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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