Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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