I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
