Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
