I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
