we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
