the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We had to coat check the pizza.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
