party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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