i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
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will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
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Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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