...so i touched it.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
