Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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