What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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