I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm drive I can fine osifer
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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