If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
