All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My bed smells like the plague
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
