She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
