Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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