Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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