What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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