the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
