Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
