is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
