I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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