Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
