i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
