I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
