dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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