u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
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