My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize