Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
